A new year a new leaf
I have been told on a number of occasions now that I am falling behind in my writing. Who knew that after you graduated you'd still have someone standing over you telling you to get something done?
Anyway, things have changed and some things haven't. I bought a kayak. Anyone who reads this already knows this, but they're also used to me just randomly reminding everyone that I have a kayak. As of late I have been trying to do things that I thoroughly enjoy. Not simply enjoy or have a little fun at, but things that I sincerely, completely enjoy. Everyone should do it. And not just try it, but do it regularly. It's not easy. And spare me your patronizing, delusional bullshit if you're thinking right now, "Yes it is, I do it all the time." No you don't. And if you do, you need to look around for all the people you're not truly caring about. They won't be hard to find, they'll be everyone but you.
In any case, it's been enjoyable. I went hiking yesterday with some friends from work. We hiked over 7 miles up to the Appalachian Trail. I tested out my pack for the first time. It was awesome. My Rino GPS worked wonderfully too.
The more I do this sort of thing, the more I come to realize that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing all the time. Now I just need to figure out how I can do just that. I have a feeling it is going to mean doing something I won't really enjoy, but if it gets me to where I want to go, then so be it.
You know I somewhat understand the idea of "turning over a new leaf," but then again, not really. Anyway, things have been a little rough when it comes to relationships lately. The fact of the matter is that I haven't been in a lasting relationship for quite a while and it's taking a toll on me. You know that feeling you get when you feel like you belong? When you feel like the person you're with is everything you need? It's a wonderful feeling to realize that someone else can make you feel that way. When you feel like you could survive just about anything, handle any situation, weather any storm just so long as they're with you and always will be. I miss that.
posted by Writerben @ 1:57 AM
1 Comments:
ahhhhh, the after graduation dating slump...just months ago it seemed like there were a million people available and now...nada. People I have dated have always been a one time thing- no butterflies, giddiness or mass excitement rushing through my body. In a time where it seems like everyone around me is completely happy in love and getting engaged, I'm mopey and bitter (however, I have perfected the "I'm so happy for you!" shriek and smile). If my mother is truly right and "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be" and "There's a lid for every pot", then as much as this phase of my life sucks, it'll make the "in love' one so much better and hopefully I'll appreciate it so much more. And in fact- my life isn't all that horrible- I have my health, family, friends, an excellent job, the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want...What I guess I'm trying to say is that it's possible that I'm in this situation because I don't want to settle for just anyone that walks my way. I want passion and romance and security and eventually I'll get it...I just need to be patient (I have self-diagnosed that it is possible that I am "Slow" in the love department). Ben, you need to be patient too. She's out there and she's wonderful. You'll find her, trust me...
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