The last day of your life

What if today was your last? What would you do? What would you do differently? How many risks would you take that you normally wouldn't? Think about it. For me, I think I would be much more open and forward in my relationships with people. I think I would take more risks. I wouldn't hide how I felt until I was sure the other person would feel comfortable or that they could handle it. Formalities would probably go right out the window.
Would you leave a friend without hugging them and letting them know just how much they meant to you?
Would you leave a friend angry? Would you go to sleep not having resolved issues between you and a loved one?
As usual, there is a scripture for this one too: Ephesians 4:26. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Notice how it is not a sin to be angry. The sin is to allow your anger to continue from one day to another- to no resolve things before the sun goes down.
As cliched as it may sound, life literally is too short to not take advantage of every second. Always let those whom you love know it, and take chances. Yeah, you'll be thought a fool on many occasions by many people, but they will also respect and admire you for being willing and able to do something they cannot. Take chances, live life. You only get to do it once.
As for me, I plan on practicing what I preach- haha.

Behaving

You know, I've been trying to behave lately. I'm tired of nonsense and unrealistic people. So I have been trying to find someone to simply be comfortable with. Not in the sense of giving up anything, but in the sense that things just fit. No sort of drama or bullshit. Just us. Doing whatever we really enjoy doing.
It always seems like no one cares about your past until it's in the past. While it's happening, so many are willing to let it happen and some even participate in its construction and form. And then you grow up and put it behind you- or at least you try. And then everyone seems to dwell on something they know nothing about.

The Note

What do you do when you get a cry for help from someone who never seemed to care about you? And how do you know it's really a cry for help and not just another attempt to get your attention? How do you know it's not a another "Wolf!" with nothing but sheep around?

I don't like cutting off relationships with people. And I don't if I can avoid it. But when you realize that someone couldn't care less about you- you make that hard decision. Only by the time you realize it, it's not that hard. Relationships with people are the most important things in life. Family, friends, and lovers. If you live your life simply for yourself, it will be a miserable one. Many people make the mistake of looking out only for themselves: "I can't count on anyone but myself." While there may be some truth in that, there is a lot of fallicy in it as well. If you can't or won't count on anyone else, then it's best to simply be prepared to be alone forever. Really and truly alone.

So, when I got this letter, I wanted to reach out. I still do. But I wonder if it was written to have me reach out. But then I realize that it doesn't matter. If I am to trust people, I must be willing to forgive. I must be willing to set aside anger, fear, distrust, and a bitter taste to see that someone else might need me to simply recognize their place in this world, albeit small and seemingly insignificant, as something worthy of notice. Who knows if their motives are honest. We will find out in the end. If they are, we will have connected for a brief moment, recognizing and noting each other's place in time. If not, they will lose yet another piece of a tiny soul whimpering to be set free, to be whole again, but being ignored. So we will reach....

The Rules 2

Who cares about making a fool out of yourself? Ever wonder if maybe those who think you the fool are the real fools? Maybe they're just afraid to show they actually care. That they may have some depth. That they have felt the same way you do. Or maybe they are just fools.
I will write poetry wherever and whenever I damn well please and screw anyone who thinks otherwise or feels it foolish. A time and a place for everything and there is no better time and no better place than always and whenever for whatever I wish to do.
I will not be ashamed of how I feel. I will not hold it in. I will not keep it back. If others can't handle it, I am sorry for them. You only get to do this once. I won't hold back just because people will shift in their seats.

The Rules

The ones that tell us how we are supposed to be. That attempt to choke the passion out of us. The kind that make us uncomfortable at the most unreasonable moments. The ones that try to keep us from enjoying our time. There is nothing worse than letting loose only to have someone tell you to reel it in.
I feel trapped in a place that seems to want so much to box me in, to decide for me who and what I am. I have people who hardly know me deciding what kind of person I am. They aren't interested in learning from me- but make a conscious effort to learn from someone else. As if anyone else could teach them more about me than me! To sit in condescending judgement of someone you know nothing about and not because I have chosen to hide if but because I have yet to have a chance to share it.
I do not have time for it.
Where are the people who are moved? Where are the people who long to be inspired. Who believe in something outside of themselves but are not naive and foolish. Why are there so many dispassionate people. So many who are so willing to pass the blame and responsibility onto someone else because it's just too damn hard to stand and face things.
But then there are those who seem to do more than stand and face things. They seem to go hunting for something to try to stir up. They spend their entire lives trying to "enrich" their lives only to have never lived it. In the end they are merely chasing windmills and you can romanticize it all you like, it is still foolish.
There are no roses in winter. So there are none to stop and smell. If there were, it's too damn cold to stop moving. Winter can be oh so miserable.

To You

I doubt you know who you are.
I don't.
We're supposed to meet.
But I don't believe we've met.
I'm Ben, by the way.
Hi.

Anyway, you're beautiful
I have no doubt.
Smart, sexy, and slightly sarcastic.
And you're about to give me a hard
time for the alliteration.

We're not at all the same
but it doesn't matter
So it will be nice to finally meet you
and learn everything about you
But first how about your name?

Proverbs and woods

I hear a sound in the solitary wood
it rings of nothing distinct
I have heard it before and it said nothing again
but rained of waiting and fate

Cliches and proverbs
spoken in different languages
still meaning nothing to everyone
even those who spoke them

Distance is chosen
and closeness is desired
but thin beauties and fat men
tell you otherwise and then.

So spots keep rising
and reminding you of vanity
slowly and sure
stealing your sanity

But remember the macaroons and
to take your vitamins
And take your time hiking
on cold bitter afternoons.